Five (5) tips to get out of the pits
I recently shared a blog post about finding joy after grief - it’s possible.
Which begs the question: HOW?
How do we move forward after getting our hearts broken?
How do we find abundance again after losing it all?
How do we feel happiness when life feels so unfair?
Like anything in life, there are many paths to the same destination. And I can only share what works for me. But after the most-challenging year of my life (2024), I can truly say I’m feeling more easeful than ever… just one year later.
Here are the five (5) things I did in 2025 to get me from healing to living:
Wholesome Vibes Only: I made surface-level swaps for moments with meaning: hanging with my god kids, volunteering, and spending extra time in nature. Anything that brought me back to a state of oneness - reminding me that the world is bigger than myself and my suffering. Hardship puts our priorities into perspective. And it teaches us that external validation carries no weight. When we focus on what life feels like, instead of what it looks like, we start to turn the dial of our suffering.
Small Circle: I developed PTSD in 2024 and it turned me into someone I didn’t recognize - numb, dissociated, and hyper-vigilant all at once. Lucky me, I was able to lean on the same 3-4 people throughout the year, helping me to trust the world again, through vulnerability and consistency. Few people in life will truly understand your soul and hold your pain. Stay close to the ones who see you - they’re medicine in human form.
Exposure Therapy: I did go to talk-therapy after my incident in 2024. And, while it was certainly helpful, the greatest improvement in my health came from taking risks again. I needed to know that what happened to me was once-in-a-lifetime bad luck. And by exposing myself to the unknown of the world, and letting good things happen to me again, my mind + body witnessed the evidence it needed to heal. We heal by being vulnerable to the possibility of more pain. And letting love transform us instead.
Living by the Intuition: In the scariest moment of my life, I had a split-second decision to make. Immediately trusting my intuition is what guided me to safety. I keep replaying the scenario over and over again. And what stands out even more than my fear in that moment is the clarity of my intuition - a reminder that the whispers of the soul are there to protect us. Now, more than ever, I follow the guidance of my intuition. Trusting that it’s leading me somewhere more beautiful than I can imagine.
Soulful Self-Care: Healing doesn’t come from massages and bubble baths. It comes from keeping our hearts open. The gift of grief is that we are reminded of what truly matters, inspiring us to live with more urgency and love bigger than before. The pain of 2024 became my sounding board - echoing gratitude for all that I have and appreciation for all that I am. Seeing how far I’ve come, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin, in my own life.
Our capacity to endure suffering mirrors our capacity to feel joy. So, if you’re in the pits, I know the pain. And I promise it gets better.
Sigue Pa’lante!
Jax